Floyd Mayweather: $50 Million Private Jet
Mayweather’s Gulfstream G650, AKA “Air Mayweather,” looks like if Air Force One and Richard Branson had a baby. It has a whole entertainment system, luxury seating, and a full-sized bed. Mayweather has been known to host high-stakes poker games on it, and he regularly travels with an on-board masseuse. “TBE” (The Best Ever) is painted on either side of the plane’s exterior. The plane was last seen skywriting “Yo Mamma” over Logan Paul’s home.
Tom Brady: $6 Million Yacht
Turns out the GOAT enjoyed partying on a boat so much, he decided to buy one. This boat though is not the kind you crush beers on while cruising through Tampa waters. This is a 77 foot-long yacht, which is actually an upgrade from his current 55 footer. When asked about the purchase, Brady said that the 77 foot yacht “is more suited for what we need down here.” Okay, Tom—you let me know how that extra 20 feet of boat square footage enhances your Tampa, Florida experience. Just make sure you have Gronk there to carry you Weekend At Bernie’s style when you inevitably pop too much champagne.
Antonio Brown: $500,000 Rolls-Royce Phantom
A Phantom is arguably, for lack of a better term, the “swaggiest” car on the market. It somehow says both “Good evening, gentlemen,” and “F U—I’m getting paid” at the same time. Antonio Brown took this energy to a whole new level with his custom Steelers’ paint job. He then created his own of “swagginess” (God I hate myself) by adding his personal signature to the side of the car. Multiple Philadelphians have been quoted as calling Brown’s car “wicked cool.”
Cristiano Ronaldo: $18.9 Million Bugatti La Voiture Noire
The Bugatti La Voiture Noire is currently the most expensive car in the world. And who bout it? Not an NFL, NBA, or MLB player; it was bought by the FIFA player, Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo basically decided that his Chiron was too pedestrian. I mean, how embarrassing would it be to roll up to the club in the same car as an MLB pitcher or an NBA forward? Ronaldo had to be selected from a waitlist to purchase the car. Yes, you had to be chosen to pay $18.9 million.
Dwight Howard: (Price Unknown) Can-Am Spyder
Basically, “Can-Am Spyder” is a cool name for a three-wheeler motorcycle. Just when you thought a safe version of a motorcycle couldn’t get any cooler, Dwight Howard got his custom painted in Superman colors. But, before you write this vehicle off as a glorified Big Wheel for adults, let me tell you that Howard claims he hit 170mph on this baby. Be prepared for your Mercedes to get lapped by Howard in his motorized tricycle.
Bubba Watson: $112,000 1969 Dodge Charger
This isn’t just any Dodge Charger; it’s the General Lee Charger from the TV show, The Dukes of Hazard. And who better to own this aggressively Southern piece of memorabilia than Bubba Watson? This car doesn’t come with any modern bells or whistles. It can’t even hold your spitter up to your mouth while you drive. But, the model that Bubba owns is the original model that appeared in the show’s opening credits. This is a purely sentimental purchase and another way for Bubba to remind us that he likes to drink beer and listen to Waylon Jennings.
Morgan Williams is a freelance humor writer based in Atlanta.
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