Schectman Offseason: Don’t Bet on a Rams Repeat

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Schectman Offseason: Don't Bet on a Rams Repeat

It was a pretty amazing run by the Rams, squeaking by the Bucs, 49ers, and Bengals to win their first Super Bowl as the LA Rams. The St. Louis one just feels like adultery. And now the two Lombardi trophies have to grow up as awkward step-brothers like Sean and Julian Lennon.

Sean and Julian Lennon | Julian lennon, The beatles, Sean lennon

Yes, the Rams went all-in and it paid off. Tom Brady made sure to applaud the approach while quietly trying on a bunch of 49ers gear and texting the pics to Niners GM John Lynch. And Jimmy Garoppolo.

The Rams were loaded with talent, and they should be in great shape to run it back. But so was Tampa Bay the year before. A lot has to go right, it’s no slam dunk.

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With that in mind, let me give you my top 5 reasons why a Rams repeat is a sucker bet.

THE ODDS

Vegas currently has the champs with the third-best odds to win next year (behind Kansas City and Buffalo). They know. They want you to take the Rams. That’s how they make money. Well, that and Blue Man Group.

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Do you think they’re mad that non-blue people play the blue people in Avatar?

MATTHEW STAFFORD

Look, he’s a likable guy and a good quarterback. But he had an even better team than Jared Goff did when he went to a Super Bowl with the Rams. And Stafford was iffy more than once. Like every episode of everything on Netflix.

The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window -  Wikipedia

I won’t single any out.

Ask yourself this: is Stafford really gonna get a second ring before Patrick Mahomes? Also, does the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window need a bigger glass or less wine?

COMPLACENCY

It happens. It’s very hard to be the hungriest one out there after you win. Except in Hungry Hungry Hippos, for obvious reasons.

Hungry Hungry Hippos GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

That game totally doesn’t stop being fun after you play it once, by the way.

Like momentum, hunger in sports is a real thing. There will be hungrier teams than the Rams next year. The Bills have already started eating each other like the rugby team from that plane crash in Alive, although this happens in most Buffalo winters regardless.

HEALTH

The injury bug plays a huge role every year, and you never know which teams will be crippled by it. Except for the Ravens, they never get hurt.

Raven fans:

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The Rams had all their biggest weapons available in the playoffs. Will they next year? Will they get lucky? Why am I asking you? No one can see the future, not even a homicide detective.

GIFs by @cackhanded — We would have come earlier, a GIF from Police Squad!

THE RAMS WEREN’T DOMINANT

Even with all the weapons, they barely pulled it off. Think about it. They were a 4 seed and won by the skin of their teeth (because, you know, teeth have skin and all). To their credit, they made the big plays when they had to. But this team scares no one. Unlike this team:

scary muppet Memes & GIFs - Imgflip

The moral, as always, Bert is not a guy you wanna borrow money from. And whatever you do, do NOT steal his nose.

The Bucs returned all 22 of their starters after winning the Super Bowl last year, and look what happened to them. And that was before Antonio Brown started pole dancing during a game right before the playoffs.

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Sure, the Rams have a chance. So will about 10 other teams, including the Vikings. Sorry, I was hacked by Kirk Cousins again. I meant the Jets.

(Zach Wilson giggling at his keyboard.)

Also the Rams gave away all their draft picks until 2038. So, there’s that. Apparently, Kevin Costner is the GM.

YARN | Bo Callahan's our future. | Draft Day (2014) | Video gifs by quotes  | 9a747fd8 | 紗

Only in this movie, no one’s giving the Rams their picks back.

As always, thanks for playing!