Round-By-Round Highlights
ROUND 1
During the last 10 seconds of round 1, Paul did something that made me think “Does this d-bag actually have a shot at beating the GOAT of boxing?” I don’t know if I’d call it can actual combination per-se. It was more of the type of punches you’d seen thrown during Super Smash Bros Melee. This kid just starts throwing hooks left and right. Then I went back and re-watched this moment and realized that none of these flailing punches ever actually landed clean. Floyd’s forearms and gloves sure took a beating, but the rest of his body went untouched.
ROUND 2
This is the round where it became abundantly clear that this was going to be a pretty uneventful fight. Round 2 consisted of Mayweather tap dancing around the ring while Logan Paul swung like a windmill with no wind. Paul threw a total of 23 punches and landed only 3, giving him a success rate of 13%. That would be a sad average even for baseball. I’m just going to say what we’re all thinking, yikes. Meanwhile, Mayweather threw a mere 8 punches and landed 3. C’mon Floyd, we know that you could’ve thrown about 50 and somehow managed to land 60. These stats proved that many people’s prediction that Mayweather’s main goal for this fight was to drag it out for as long as possible. I’m going to throw out a wild guess and say that this all has to do with the fact that the longer the fight went on, the more money Floyd “Money” Mayweather would make. That’s just me though.
ROUND 3
In round 3, Logan Paul finally revealed his main fight strategy: when it doubt, hug it out. Paul looked like that creepy uncle who lets a hug linger for just a little too long. This round was more of a wrestling match than boxing. The kid was leaning on Mayweather to the point where it looked like that was the only thing keeping him from collapsing. Paul did manage to get in a few decent body shots, but it was evident that coming in way too hot out of the gate was already taking a toll. He must’ve skipped the first chapter of Boxing 101: “Conserve Your Energy.”
ROUND 4
We start to see a glimmer of the Money Mayweather we remember—he’s landing some amazing left hooks and has obvious control of the ring. Logan Paul landed about one good shot. But, he spent most of the round looking like the drunk friend who can’t stand up and is putting all his weight on you while you drag his ass home from the bar. At this point, it’s obvious that Mayweather is humoring the kid.
ROUND 5
It’s clear that Loga Paul will be sticking to jabs from here on out. He doesn’t have it in him to exert the energy that goes into hooks. Mayweather is unphased and dodges Paul’s jabs better than I can dodge a backhanded compliment from my mom. Like the late, great Patches O’Houlihan once said, “If you can dodge some of the best names in boxing history, you can dodge a YouTube star.” Or something like that.
ROUND 6
This round was a little…sad. Logan Paul repeatedly throws jabs with absolutely no power behind them. Mayweather easily dodges. With no wind left beneath his sails, Paul takes the mature route of making faces and talking smack to Mayweather. Because nothing says, “I got this,” like sticking your tongue out at someone and yelling “That all you got?” No, Logan. Mayweather clearly has so much more than he’s given you. You’re basically a Make A Wish Kid at this pint. He’s just all about the money.
ROUND 7
We finally are reminded that Mayweather is in his mid-forties. He appears a little worn-out and just sick of this punk hugging him. Logan Paul takes advantage of Mayweather’s first display of fatigue and lands a few good jabs. Mayweather still has obvious control of the ring though as he continuously puts Paul in the ropes. Even though this was by no means an impressive round, it was Paul’s best round.
ROUND 8
The crowd is now erupting in boos. Logan Paul throws all of his technical boxing knowledge out the window and flings himself around the ring. He is now in full wrestling-mode. Mayweather is obviously searching for a window to land a knockout punch. But, it’s kind of difficult to hit a 6’2 target that’s using you as an upright body pillow. The bell rings, putting an end to this strange spectacle you overpaid for.
The best part? There’s not even a winner or loser. The rules of the exhibition fight stipulated (look at me with the big words) that there would be no judges scoring each round. Therefore, a win could only come by way of knockout. Given the fact that this fight consisted of 90% hugging and 10% boxing, it came by no surprise that neither boxer hit the mat. I guess the boxing organizations will be awarding participation trophies instead of title belts from now on.
Winners & Losers
WINNERS
- FLOYD MAYWEATHER:
I don’t care how much Jake Paul tries to gaslight followers into thinking that his brother even came close to winning, the fact is that Floyd Mayweather was the clear, undeniable, obvious winner of this exhibition fight. The final stats show that Mayweather landed over 40% of his punches thrown. Logan Paul landed less 13% of the total 217 punches he threw.
I’d bet money that Mayweather didn’t even look at the fight stats. You really think he cares about the margins by which he won a fight he couldn’t lose? No. He doesn’t give a tiny rat’s ass as to just how much he out performed Logan Paul. The only number Money Mayweather cares about is the $10 million he made off of making a kid’s dreams of being a real boxer for a day come true.
- LOGAN PAUL:
Guess how much Logan Paul made off the fight. $250,000 (2.5% of Mayweather’s payout). The kid could’ve made more money than that by posting a YouTube video of him ranking fart noises. He didn’t do this for the money though, obviously. He did it for bragging rights. He wanted the bragging rights that come with surviving in the ring with one of the best boxers in history.
In the end, Logan Paul got what he wanted. He lasted 8 rounds with the Peyton Manning, if not the Tom Brady, of boxing. This fight hasn’t changed the fact that when I hear the name “Logan Paul” I automatically think “Oh, the guy with swoopy hair and a d-bag brother.” Whether or not his performance will make people take him seriously as a boxer, is unknown. All I know is that, as much as I hate to admit it, watching a YouTube star try to defeat a deadly fighter is entertaining as hell. I’m sure he gained a few followers along the way too.
LOSERS
- THE SPORT OF BOXING:
The Mayweather vs. Logan Paul fight begs the question, who’s next? Ryan Seacrest vs. Wladimir Klitschko? Macaulay Culkin vs. Canelo Álvarez? Guy Fieri vs. Tyson Fury? Taylor Swift vs. Katie Taylor? Do we just welcome them into the prestigious world of professional sports because they’re famous enough to rake in money from viewers? Was that too many questions in a row? Probably. Both Logan and Jake Paul proved that if you train for a few years, you can fast-pass your way into a sport that most competitors have dedicated their entire lives to.
Even worse, the actual rules of boxing were changed especially for this fight. If anyone is questioning why the rules of the exhibition fight included that the result could not go to a judge’s decision, it’s because there is absolutely no way, unless we are in an alternate universe, that Logan Paul could beat Floyd Mayweather by way of points. The ONLY way that Paul could on the off chance defeat Mayweather would be by knockout. There is no denying that Logan Paul is taller and heavier than Mayweather. This leaves a slim window of opportunity for Paul to use his force to put Mayweather on the mat. Would you have paid to watch the fight without the small, yet believable chance for Paul to win? If you said yes, stop kidding yourself.
- ANYONE WHO STREMED SHOWTIME PPV:
It’s me. I am anyone. I paid $50 to watch one out of four undercard fights and the last 3 rounds of the Logan Paul vs. Mayweather fight. I was not just swindled—I was ROBBED! By the time I tuned into the main event, Logan Paul was a human ragdoll and, I had spent more time refreshing Showtime support’s Twitter feed than actually watching what I paid for. Once I was finally able to watch Mayweather vs. Paul, I was more concerned about the stern talking-to I was going to give the Showtime HR rep than the actual fight. I had built up enough anger that I could’ve knocked out either fighter. Screw you Showtime. Gimme my money back.
Ridiculous Moments
Jake Paul
Jake Paul showed up in true fashion—sunglasses inside, hat that was on his head but not actually on his head, and ripe wiht annoying commentary. I lost count of how many times he posted on Instagram or Twitter. He truly was the embodiment of the Boomers’ complaint that “Kids these days don’t actually live in the moment—they just record it on their phones.” The best part though was when Jake decided to claim his brother’s victory and was met by immediate backlash from anyone who is well-versed in boxing.
Knockout?
Something absolutely WILD occurred during one of the later rounds. Mayweather lands a massive hook to Paul’s face. The YouTube star collapses onto Mayweather, and Mayweather seems to have a moment where he thinks “Oh s**t, I forgot I’m not supposed to actually box this kid.” Upon further examination, it seems that Mayweather catches Paul before he can fall to the ground, holds him, then props him back up. Mayweather was not about to let millions of dollars fall flat on the mat. Many people are now calling this a missed K/O.
Live Commentary
The best part of this event was hands down the commentary that took place during the fight. The broadcasters took this fight about as seriously as one would take a drunk girl talking about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Here are some of my personal favorite live comments. I apologize that I cannot credit each quote to the speaker—everyone was talking over each other, and I can’t identify boxing commentators by voice, sue me.
“A lot of people don’t know that the Paul brothers started this sport by fighting over PlayStation controllers.”
“And the kids say that he’s [Logan Paul] an imposter…the Boomers…the kids that stormed the Capitol.”
“Paul looking frustrated. He doesn’t want to have to do this TikTok for the sixth time.”
“You never want someone bigger pushing on you, especially when they’re sweaty. Listen, I’ve carried my wife while drunk, and I know how it feels.”
“I think Paul is just trying to tickle his [Mayweather’s] bellybutton at this point.”
“He [Logan Paul] is laying on him like an anxiety blanket.”
“Paul twerking in between rounds.”
“This is quickly turning into a fight outside White Castle.”
“I think he [Logan Paul] just peed himself.”
“I think he’s [Logan Paul] making a TikTok in the corner ring.”
Best Memes
Morgan Williams is a freelance humor writer based in Atlanta.
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