And I’m not just saying that because the week 7 matchups are all turd salads. Even though they are. Falcons/Bengals? Packers/Commanders? You know it’s bad when you have to start considering other options for Sunday. Like baseball, or meth.
And this isn’t because the Thursday night games are so bad it’s making people hate football and want to kill themselves. Unless we have to watch the Lions and Texans play each other. Or anyone else.
Speaking of Thursday games, you gotta give it to Amazon. Streaming makes the process of flipping to another channel during commercials so annoying that you just don’t. The suffering is unbearable. Well-played, Team Bezos.
And it’s not because all the other teams stink. Okay, maybe it is. Look, you wanna ride the 6-0 Eagles train? Go for it. They are this year’s Cardinals. Remember last year when Arizona zoomed off to a 7-0 start? How’d that work out? Like a pile of shit burgers without the buns? Yeah. Giants? Jets? Do you even hear yourself? Because you have an amazing singing voice.
There’s the Bills and the Chiefs. Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes. That’s what we want! Just let those two teams play every week! NFL, you have exactly two teams worth watching, run with it! We only watch the other games to see roughing the passer penalties and Tom Brady smashing tablets.
The real tragedy is that it was the other guy’s tablet. Even worse, next Brady farted in the guy’s car.
And is it me, or does Aaron Rodgers just not look right?
No, right? Ever since his movie “Morbius” tanked, just not the same guy.
Who else you got? Minnesota with Kirk Cousins? He ends every season with a Viking funeral. And not the good kind.
Allen and Mahomes are keeping the NFL afloat right now. It may not be “Waterworld” bad, but it’s not “Waterworld” good either.
See what you get when you ask Hollywood to make more original movies? Kevin Costner as a fish-man. This. This is why they stopped. Well, that and “Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile.”
It’s like they dare you to watch something other than football.
At least we’ll get Bills/Chiefs again in the playoffs.
As always, thanks for playing!
