20 More Effective Warning Cries Than “Fore!”

Try yelling out one of these on the golf course and let us know how it goes


You see a distracted guy about to step onto the street with a bus speeding towards him. What do you do to warn him that he’s about to get hit? You probably don’t yell out a word that’s meaning goes all the way back to 1800’s Britain like “fore.” There has to be a better way to grab someone’s attention! I think it’s time that golfers revamp the way we warn others of oncoming balls. Here are some things that I can guarantee will turn heads when you yell them on the golf course (whether as a warning of impending danger or just for for fun).

1. Penis!

2. I think about you in the shower!

3. Is that OJ Simpson!?

4. Hemorrhoid doughnut!

5. The Beatles are overrated!

6. My father never loved me!

7. Can I borrow some money!?

8. I saw your browser history!

9. Shrinkage!

10. Your wife is calling you!

11. My cousin is kinda hot!

12. Expecto Patronum!

13. I pee sitting down!

14. Thanks for giving me pink eye!

15. It came back positive!

16. You ever thought about kissing me!?

17. Third nipple!

18. I dreamt about your mom!

19. Ladies’ underwear is surprisingly comfortable!

20. Fore-skin!

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Morgan Williams is a freelance humor writer based in Atlanta.