You see a distracted guy about to step onto the street with a bus speeding towards him. What do you do to warn him that he’s about to get hit? You probably don’t yell out a word that’s meaning goes all the way back to 1800’s Britain like “fore.” There has to be a better way to grab someone’s attention! I think it’s time that golfers revamp the way we warn others of oncoming balls. Here are some things that I can guarantee will turn heads when you yell them on the golf course (whether as a warning of impending danger or just for for fun).
1. Penis!
2. I think about you in the shower!
3. Is that OJ Simpson!?
4. Hemorrhoid doughnut!
5. The Beatles are overrated!
6. My father never loved me!
7. Can I borrow some money!?
8. I saw your browser history!
9. Shrinkage!
10. Your wife is calling you!
11. My cousin is kinda hot!
12. Expecto Patronum!
13. I pee sitting down!
14. Thanks for giving me pink eye!
15. It came back positive!
16. You ever thought about kissing me!?
17. Third nipple!
18. I dreamt about your mom!
19. Ladies’ underwear is surprisingly comfortable!
20. Fore-skin!
Morgan Williams is a freelance humor writer based in Atlanta.
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