Movies about beer can be amazing. Movies where people drink beer, haul beer, try to buy up beer, have produced many classics. The problem arises when you put “beer” in the actual title. It’s possible the people who make these films think, we put beer in the title, our work here is finished. Then they let the rest figure itself out. Sort of like how they hire Melissa McCarthy to be lead in a movie and then spend ten minutes and ten cents on the script. She’ll be enough to carry it. So they say.
It’s a hard search to find a good movie with the word “beer” in its name. So hard we included Strange Brew, which technically doesn’t even fit. We needed one above-average film, so people didn’t read this list and become so despondent they started self-harming by watching soccer or something. Apologies in advance to nations where land is very cheap.
Nevertheless, Beer Life knows beer. Like these movies, it’s right in our name. So, presented in random non-algorithmic order so you know I’m not a bot, here are ten less than iconic films with “beer” in the title:
Beer for My Horses (2008)
Do you love country music star Toby Keith? Don’t answer that — yet. If you watch Beer for My Horses, Keith’s acting and writing foray into cliché meth-action films (yep, that’s a 2000’s genre), you will think less of him. Keith plays an unconvincing deputy sheriff named “Rack” whose love interest is kidnapped by a Mexican drug warlord.
Naturally, since it’s Oklahoma and this is the movies, he and the boys form a posse to head South and bring her back. The acting is bad. The story is bad. The title comes from a Toby Keith and Willie Nelson song, which means it’s borne of goodness. Even ugly babies deserve to live, though obviously in the dark.
This mid-80’s comedy is what happens when you hire a half-dozen B-list stars of the day and order a screenwriter to give you a movie whose title is literally just Beer. Intentionally cute titles are almost always disappointing films. They always feel like they were hatched by a guy named Steve in the Marketing Department. Or the 2021 version of Steve, Aimee.
Surprisingly, Beer is not horrible. Nor is it good. It’s incredibly somewhere in the middle. In the film, an advertising agency turns three losers into everyman beer brand heroes after they accidentally prevent a bar robbery. Imagine the guffaws. Literally, you will have to imagine the guffaws. Don’t go judging the 80’s now. They actually had good Star Wars movies and guys playing sports while high on cocaine.
If you like the Broken Lizard comedy troupe that brought you such movie franchises as Super Troopers, then you’ll like Beerfest. It’s an acquired taste. Like cheap beer itself.
Beerfest is basically Dodgeball, in Europe, with beer. It aims low and it reaches the mark. If you don’t know who Broken Lizard is and you’ve never seen the Super Trooper movies, you still might like Beerfest… after three beers. The uncut version, naturally. If you’re watching the TV version with no nudity, see a doctor. At least he’ll have naked photos in his office.
Beer League (2006)
Also known as Artie Lange’s Beer League. That may be because Artie Lange is the only reason this movie got made. This isn’t exactly the same oomph as to why a Tom Cruise movie gets made, but with a 99.9% lower budget, the studio obviously felt it was worth the risk.
Artie Lange is beloved by both his Howard Stern fans and people who simply can’t believe he’s still alive after his run-ins with every vice that should kill you. Artie played decent baseball as a teen so they decided it would be funny if now slovenly adult Artie played a derelict drunk softball player in a slow pitch league. If you truly love drunken slob fat guy jokes (no judgments), you will somewhat like this movie. Who am I kidding? Go watch Major League instead, even if it’s your ninth time.
Strange Brew (1983)
Anybody over a certain age will tell you that Strange Brew is a great movie. Most likely they saw it while sampling something intoxicating during college. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Strange Brew isn’t a great movie, but it is a largely funny movie that entirely hit its mark. Not a high mark, but a mark nevertheless.
Bob and Doug McKenzie of 1970’s SCTV skit fame (played by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas, respectively), turn their iconic unemployed Canadian beer-loving brothers act into a feature-length, Hitchcock-inspired comedy about stupid people doing stupid things for the love of beer. It’s like watching the perennial C-student get a B-minus and start crying. There’s something beautiful about that.
Beer Wars (2009)
Okay, so a little cheat, this movie is a documentary. I know, documentaries sound like school. But there haven’t been many good films before about the steep battle microbrews face against the big boys; Beer Wars does a decent job. It’s no Hoop Dreams level doc, but it gives you solid 2009 era views into how much the Budweiser’s of the beer world dominate the industry.
See the story: Budweiser is giving away free beer to COVID-19 vaccine recipients.
C’mon, you must be wondering how companies that produce pretty lousy beer in a can own all the shelf space at most markets. Yes, through black magic, but find out the details of that dark art. Hint, Miller is Voldemort.
Road Trip: Beer Pong (2009)
It’s hard to imagine but there was an entire decade when DJ Qualls was a hot acting commodity. The 2000’s. By way of context, James Blunt had the top-selling album of the decade. I’m mostly writing that for the aliens who might be scanning our Internet and deciding whether or not to attack us. Take pity on us.
Road Trip: Beer Pong was the sort of sequel to Road Trip. The movie involves Qualls and others on a beer pong tournament road trip with a bunch of hot girls. Going further in-depth will only ruin the two things that sound appealing – beer pong and hot girls. To be fair, this was made before OnlyFans where you can now see those same girls playing beer pong without DJ Qualls ruining the mood. Though this movie will not pester you endlessly for donations to see more.
What, No Beer? (1933)
Okay, so old black and white movies like What, No Beer? seem like something only crusty great aunts and film school grads ever speak of in the 21st Century. But not so fast. In this not-horrible Buster Keaton and Jimmy Durante film about a couple of nincompoops who invent an alcohol-free beer by accident, we’re reminded that there was a time in this nation’s history when beer was illegal. A solid reminder that the things we take for granted may be taken away. Also, that kangaroo is clearly dead. Things just got serious.
A Beer Tale (2012)
A Beer Tale is about two brothers orphaned at a young age now in their 20’s trying to run their deceased parent’s brewery business. It’s a romantic comedy which by law means that a woman must come between the two brothers, they must fight and fall apart, but in the end, learn that brotherhood is more important than chicks. But not before the obligatory sex scene, naturally. Movie God is a very giving god in that respect.
The beer itself is somewhat of a MacGuffin. It’s more about overcoming childhood trauma with your bro by making beer and learning to be a decent boyfriend. There are worse therapies. If you like low-budget indie films made by two real-life brothers about two fictional brothers, you will like this film.
Beer Run (2005)
Okay, another cheat. In 2005 Heineken paid a boatload of money to Brad Pitt and famous director David Fincher to produce a 90-second commercial featuring Pitt going on a late-night Heineken beer run. Pitt is fed up with the stupid script he’s reading, goes to reach for a cold one in the fridge, and sees only the empty six-pack holder, no beer. What kind of monster does that to another human being? Apparently, he lives alone, so maybe the monster is within.
The hordes of paparazzi stalking Pitt are his nemeses, tracking his every move like World War Z zombies. That rabid tabloid journalist part is perhaps more believable than Brad Pitt craving a Heineken. But when the top director and the top actor in Hollywood get together to film a mini-movie beer commercial, it’s worth noting.
If you have comments on this highly biased written piece, please share your comments below. Besides Strange Brew, did you like any of these films? I don’t mean like you dug a girl at a high school party because she looks amazing in a sweater liked, I mean like you wanted to take her out and pay for a not-fast-food-dinner kind of liked. Deep down liked. Let us know.
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